Our Walk With Stage IV Prostate Cancer: Tough Day

Saturday, October 10, 2015

Tough Day

First, I got a letter from the VA denying my application for a military headstone/marker for Marshall. The reason they gave in the first paragraph was that they don't give markers to veterans who aren't interred. But in the last sentence they say "you are eligible for a government-furnished headstone or marker if you scatter the ashes" and that I should apply again after the ashes are scattered. Kind of confusing.

But then I noticed that the letter was addressed to me but the veteran's name was Marshall J Mullins. My Marshall was Marshall L Mullins. Then I noticed they had a Veteran ID number so I got out all of Marshall's papers to try to find his ID number. I couldn't find anything in the papers so I got out his wallet (which I hadn't looked at since he died) and when I saw his pictures (drivers license, VA card, etc.), as well as all his other stuff, I had a huge meltdown.

I never found a number that said it was a Veteran ID number but I also didn't find any number that matched the number on the letter I got today. I guess I will see the Veteran Service Officer on Monday and see what he thinks.

Since I have ordered a traditional headstone for Marshall I would be inclined to not worry about a military marker ... EXCEPT that this would be a very big deal to Marshall so I will keep pursuing it.

I have heard from several caregivers who read my blog and who have asked me to keep the blog going to report what life is after the loss of a husband to prostate cancer. So I will. I'm sure it will be a long time before life settles into anything even remotely resembling normal.

1 comment:

TspoonOctober 11, 2015 at 8:31 AM
I know this sounds silly, it does to me, but knowing you will keep this up helps ME. I cried in relief, I want to know that as widows we can be whole again.

My husband was diagnosed March 2011 with stg 4 and we have been on hospice since May. When you lost your Marshall I was devestated, I don't know why, but I don't think I believed you would lose him before I lost mine. Crazy huh? Like it was a race. Nothing makes sense some days when hospice is in the equation.

This is hard, harder than I thought it would be and most people don't understand really. But other spouses like us do, we lose way before they leave us. You are still walking, thru the other side of it and I am weirdly grateful for this gift of you.

I am 53 living in Arkansas and have no family here except for a mom that was diagnosed with stg 2A colon cancer in June. My family is in Texas, but with insurance through my job I had to stay here. Now...just 1 day at a time.

Thanks Marilyn,

Terri Witherspoon
ReplyDelete
Replies

Add comment

Marshall's Story (condensed)

On 3/14/12 went to emergency room with severe chest pain (turned out to be bone pain)
3/17/12 diagnosed with Stage IV Prostate Cancer (metastasized to the bones), PSA was 49
3/29/12 Biopsy confirmed advanced cancer, with a Gleason Score of 8, PSA had risen to 95
3/29/12 Received a double injection of Firmagon hormone therapy (very painful!)
Early April 2012, within less than a week, bone pain subsided, and he was out of bed!!
4/30/12, PSA had gone down to 9! Hormone therapy changed from Firmagon to Lupron (a 3-month injection) Side effects: fatigue & hot flashes
6/11/12, PSA now down to 3.9! Considering a clinical trial.
6/19/12, decided against the clinical trial.
7/10/12, lab work done at request of VA regarding Agent Orange claim.
7/12/12, evaluation by a private doctor at request of VA.
7/26/12, visit to oncologist. PSA remains at 3.9!!! Very good news. Bone strengthener postponed for 6 weeks. Next appointment 9/13/12.
8/6/12, VA approved Agent Orange-prostate cancer benefits; Marshall is now considered 100% disabled. This decision will be reviewed again in six months.
9/4/12, passed out, chest pain, pale, sweating, clammy, rushed to hospital by Flight for Life. Doctors were unable to find a cause, but it wasn't cancer related. Left the hospital 9/6/12.
9/13/12, PSA went up to 6.6 ... depressing. CT scan, bone scan and another PSA test scheduled for 10/11/12.
10/11/12, Bone scan showed no change from prior bone scan; CT scan showed slight increase in "activity"; PSA up to 10.01. Casodex is started as well as megadoses of Vitamin D2.
10/18/12, Excruciating back pain, thought it was a Casodex side effect; oncologist says it is not SE. Went to clinic, got x-rays of spine, showed nothing, maybe hairline fracture, got injection of "aspirin" and started feeling better.

10/25/12, Lupron injection; Xgeva injection; flu shot. SE from Lupron was pain at injection site for several days.

11/21/12, PSA 10.22, Xgeva injection.

12/17/12, Kavanaugh (radiation oncologist)

12/20/12, 12/21/12, 12/22/12, first 3 radiation treatments

12/27/12, 12/28/12, last 2 radiation treatments

1/1/13, called 911, stomach pain, taking laxatives per instructions of Dr. Yeh, radiation oncologist. In hospital 3 days, diagnosed with radiation colitis. PSA 12.3. Colitis can't be treated, needs to resolve itself. Sent home 1/3. Advised that white blood cell count was low, get it retested.

1/7/13, went to clinic for lab work

1/8/13, appointment at clinic, white blood cell count heading back up but sugar very low and dehydrated. He was put on intravenous fluids for 40 minutes, felt better.

1/17/13, PSA 13.2, Vit D in normal range, Lupron shot, Xgeva shot, discontinue Casodex, white blood cell count almost back to normal after radiation.

1/28/13, went to emergency room with excruciating pain in right leg; no blood clot, no hairline fracture, no sciatica. Advised that fracture was imminent and to get wheelchair.

2/7/13, saw oncologist to get tests after emergency room visit. They do not agree that fracture is imminent and thought pain may be caused by withdrawal of Casodex. We go back on 3/1 for PSA test and discussion of clinical study of GTX (estrogen therapy) added to the treatment plan.

3/1/13, saw oncologist; PSA almost tripled to 31.06; started process to participate in clinical study for GTX-758.

3/4/13, not accepted in clinical study, bloodwork showed "low threshold" for clotting; will start Zytiga & prednisone on 3/12/13, started Zytiga with Prednisone;

3/17/13, FIRST PAIN FREE DAY IN MONTHS!

4/7/13, STILL PAIN FREE

4/8/13, visit to hospital for lab work; all good; PSA DOWN TO 10.23!!

4/22/13, visit to hospital for lab work; all good. Received Lupron shot. Xgeva will be stopped until calcium levels go up. STILL PAIN FREE.

5/8/13, lab work; all good. PSA down to 5.1. Got Xgeva shot.

6/12/13, lab work; PSA down to 1.45. Dehydrated, hemoglobin low. Need to come back in a week to re-check kidney function.

6/18/13, lab work, kidney function back to normal; need to start iron supplement for anemia caused by Zytiga.

7/9/13, PSA down to 1.04 !!!!!

7/31/13, PSA down to 0.88 (woo hoo!)

8/28/13, PSA 0.88, got Xgeva shot

10/7/13, PSA 1.28, Xgeva discontinued because of side effects

10/16/13, CT scan, bone scan, MRI

10/21/13, results of tests showed healing in the bones, no evidence of new metastatic disease

11/13/13, lab work normal, got referral to psychologist

12/11/13, PSA 2.16, doctor says not to worry

1/6/14, saw psychologist, went well

2/4/14, CT scan, bone scan

2/6/14, PSA 2.8, scans look good, CT showed healing, got Zolodex injection, still off of Xgeva

3/5/14, PSA 2.45, all lab work normal

4/7/14, PSA 4.64, lab work normal, doubling the antidepressant, saw psychologist

5/15/14, PSA 3.72, lab work normal

6/19/14, PSA 7.46, lab work normal, bone scan showed new activity in upper spine

7/17/14, PSA 9.4, repeat scans set for 8/12

8/14/14, PSA 11.23, cancer progressing slowly, may start chemo in a few months.

9/15/14, PSA 20.8, new scans set for 10/14, then we find out what happens next.

10/16/14, PSA 33, Zytiga discontinued; started on Cytoxan; radiation scheduled for early November.

11/18/14, PSA 35.6, Zoladex injection, could he be suffering from radiation "flare?" Radiation oncologist says no.

12/1/14, discontinued Cytoxan.

12/22/14, PSA 28.0, he is in nursing home for physical therapy.

1/15/15, PSA 33, scans scheduled for February

2/9/15, scans cancelled; emergency surgery to remove tumor wrapped around spine; PSA 40

3/9/15, PSA 43, spots found on liver

4/13/15, PSA 45.62, spots on liver are probably fatty tissue. We will watch closely. Continue on oral chemo Cytoxan.

5/13/15, PSA 64.9

6/4/15, PSA 65, got quarterly Zolodex injection

7/2/15, PSA 262, will get radiation and will try Zytiga again

7/9/15, Hospice.
7/22/15, R.I.P.