I'm a little nervous about tomorrow's appointment with the cardiologist. I have high hopes that tomorrow will put me on the road to feeling better but then part of me says I am expecting too much.
I'm sure the pacemaker needs adjusting -- I can often feel it going too fast -- but what do I know... Then there's the medications. I think I'm having side effects but to which medication? Metoprolol (rate control med) or Flecainide (rhythm control med) or Warfarin (blood thinner). I'm having scary dizzy spells, bloating, constipation, and the tip of my tongue is sometimes numb. (And, by the way, the dizzy spells only come on when I'm up and walking around, never when I'm sitting down or laying down, so I feel okay driving.)
In the morning I wake up feeling fairly good and start to get optimistic. I then take my Metoprolol and Flecainide and within 30 minutes I start feeling sick and dizzy. Then around 3:00 in the afternoon I slowly start feeling better. At 8PM I take the Metoprolol, Flecainide and Warfarin and in a little bit I start feeling crappy again and my heart starts pounding. I check my pulse constantly and it will go down to 25 or 30 and then the pacemaker will bring it back up to 68 or 70 and then down to 35 or 40 or 50 and then the pacemaker brings it back up again, etc. etc. I feel jittery.
Tomorrow they will "interrogate" the pacemaker and I think they will be able to see the whole two weeks of pacemaker/heart activity and that should tell them if adjustments are necessary. I think.
They will also check my blood to see if I am successfully keeping my INR in the 2 to 3 range. I had a little bleeding (gums) on Tuesday so I need to talk to the doctor about that.
I'm scared to leave the house but today I had to go to Walmart to pick up a prescription so I forced myself to walk around the store for 30 minutes. And tomorrow I'm actually going to my doctor appointment by myself!
I will report tomorrow on how the appointment goes.
I made an appointment to take Coco to the vet on Monday just to get him introduced to his new vet. He's not doing well at all and I am trying to spend quality time with him. When we first moved here, he appeared to enjoy going for short walks on the sidewalks around the complex. Now when I take him out he refuses to walk. There is a commercial on TV about a guy going through a Bucket List for his aging dog. Every time I see it I think of me and Coco.
When I'm at the vet, I will see if they have any recommendations for pet sitters. I really need to get a pet sitting relationship going because if I need to go back into the hospital (which seems imminent almost every day), I want to be sure I can get someone to take care of Coco and the cats.
I am fortunate, very fortunate, to have so many friends who are always there for me and yet I've never felt so alone. I've been trying to find a grief support group because I think it would help me tremendously but so far I haven't had any luck. Tomorrow I'm supposed to call a guy at the University of Colorado Hospital to see if he's found a group for me.
Thanks for listening.
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